Chupaqueso.com

I got the variety pack of cheese in from the WSU creamery yesterday. So far, I’ve only opened the Cougar Gold and the Crimson Fire, but both are quite yummy.

Cougar Gold is a hard, somewhat crumbly, cheese that tastes like one of the English cheeses whose name I can’t remember (mainly since it’s been a year or more since I last had some). (Update: upon reading the description at the Cheese Encyclopedia, I think it’s Cheshire.) It’s quite good, and I’ll probably be getting a can of it when this box runs out. I might even try it as chupaqueso filling with a bit of bacon, just to see how it holds up.

Crimson Fire is a softer cheese that’s full of pepper. This ain’t no namby-pamby Pepper Jack, either: while it won’t send diehard Dave’s Insanity Sauce fans running for the chocolate dish, the average person will be left with no doubt he’s gotten hold of something fiery. All of that does a very good job of hiding the fact that the cheese around the peppers is low-fat.

When I get through these two, I’ll break out the American Cheddar and Dill Garlic varieties. I expect they’ll be pretty good, too.

…is that you don’t have to put up with the most idiotic question in customer service: “How’s everything tasting?”

Anyone who knows about customer service will tell you that collecting customer feedback is essential both in satisfying the customer and in making sure they stay a customer. Table service at a restaurant is probably one of the best fields for customer feedback, since there are several customer-staff interactions in any transaction. A good service representative (for that’s what a waiter is) will do his best to collect as much feedback as he can as unobtrusively as he can.

“How’s everything tasting?” utterly fails in that regard. It’s narrowly drawn to only inquire about the food. Yes, that’s important, but it’s not all there is. There are lots of other factors that influence the customer’s satisfaction, ranging from the service itself to the restaurant environment. The customer can, and even sometimes does, tell the restaurant that there’s a problem that needs fixing. Who’s he gonna tell? That’s right, the waiter.

There’s another aspect to this that grates on me. That question was not invented by a waiter, especially not the airheaded 20-year-old woman who seems to be the type most likely to use it. It’s way, way too artificial. It smells strongly of consultant, with careful vetting by focus group before being mandated by management in a corporate office somewhere. It’s stilted and jarring.

I used to give the waiters and waitresses who use it a hard time. I don’t any more, because it’s counterproductive. As someone pointed out, hassling the person who handles your food is not a good idea.

I’d like to find the restaurant consultant who came up with “How’s it tasting?”, strap him to a chair, and send every waiter within 50 miles to ask him that question.

Until then, I’ll just avoid the places where it’s most endemic, and stay home and make chupaquesos, instead.

Technically, a “monger” is “a dealer in a specific commodity.” Since I don’t SELL cheese, I guess I can’t be a true cheesemonger. But I do deal it out to myself, and I’ve gotten pretty good at it.

My secret: ziploc bags, cling wrap, and a cold windowsill.

Big pieces of cheese get cling-wrapped and ziploc’d, and put into the fridge.

Medium-sized pieces of cheese get cut from the big pieces, cling-wrapped separately, and then set upon our North-facing kitchen window sill.

Small pieces of cheese (one snack’s worth) get cut from the medium-sized bits and eaten, but only AFTER the medium-sized bits have been on the sill for a couple of hours. Good cheese is best consumed at room temperature.

I’m pretty sure that temperatures on that sill never exceed 65 F in the winter. I’ve had medium-sized chunks sit there for two or three days, and they were just fine for cutting into and eating. In fact, they were PERFECT. I now try to only deal myself cheese after it’s been out for a day.

In this way I’m still making my way through the last 3/8ths of a wheel of Shitake-Leek Appalachian. There’s a quarter-wheel in cling-and-zip with the rind still on it, and 1/8th wheel, trimmed, in cling wrap on the sill.

I just got two cans of Washington State University “Cougar” cheese from a reader, and some of that is on the sill right now, too. I’ll write more about that stuff in another post. It’s taaaaasty.

Here’s an older piece of chupaqueso fan-mail. I really need to clean my Inbox more often…

I’ve just tried my first chupaqueso, and I must say, my arteries curse you Howard! I think I’m going to develop an addiction, I want another!

My first attempt was a basic cheddar shell with a mozzarella and crispy bacon filling (a con tocino?). Unfortunately my pan is not ideal and I ended up with a burnt beef taste on the underside, so I’m going to have to buy a new pan just for making these.

Now I’ve read the site and noticed you’ve added chocolate as a filling - I’m gonna have to try that at some point too. Have you considered adding spices to the mix, either as the filling or possibly as part of the shell?

I think I’m gonna go make another.

Paul

I hope the new pan works out for you, Paul. Thanks for the note!

–Howard

The cast-iron skillet I got yesterday was pre-seasoned. I compared the coating it had to the coating I’ve got on my griddle, and made an important discovery:

Lodge “pre-seasoning” is just that. It’s what they do to the pan BEFORE you sit down and give it a proper seasoning yourself.

I’ve cooked on the pre-seasoned surface three times now, and while it’s okay, it’s not nearly so non-stick as the surface of the griddle. So I got out the Crisco, fired the oven up to 350F, and gave my new skillet a good, thick coating. It took about two hours.

The difference is quite visible. NOW it’s ready for business. (Chupaquesos for lunch today!)

I just got this email from a reader:

Hello Mr. Tayler,
I just wanted to share with you the results of a recent culinary experiment.
Starting out like a chupaqueso, but with a 12 inch cast iron skillet with mozzarella out to the edge. Toast it and flip it over as usual then after re-flipping, transfer to a round foil pie pan. Add tomato sauce and your favorite pizza toppings (including cheeeeeeese of course) then pop into the toaster oven for 10 minutes or so. Presto! Low-carb pizza! It came out quite well and of course was quesoliscious, or is that chupaliscious? Hope you find this usefull. Keep on Schlockin’.
Sincerely,
Jay Scott Raymond, Schlock fan

Thanks for the tip, Jay! This sounds tasty, if a bit tricky. Still, if anybody out there has the chops to flip a conventional chupaqueso, making a pizza on top of the flat “cheese-crisp” part should be no trouble at all.

I’m ready for Teflognarok. Bring the Teflocalypse. Amass the armies of Teflogeddon. I have a Lodge 8″ skillet, and it works perfectly (for my own definition of perfect.)

I had two basted eggs for breakfast, and they were delicious. They slid right out of the skillet, picture perfect. They also tasted better than teflon-skilletted eggs, but I’m willing to concede that the improved flavor was just my imagination.

I also had toast, yes — low-carbing took a hit this morning in the interest of science. You might ask whether toast was really necessary to the process, since it never comes anywhere NEAR the skillet. I assure you, it was. Basted eggs without toast are just chicken by-products.

Anyway, a big thank-you goes out to Haesselich, who so graciously provided the skillet. Between the skillet and the griddle, I’m ready fo’ da gummint to takes away mah teflon.